29 April 2010

Wonder if Ricky Martin, George Michael and Elton John are Homo-genius

27 April 2010

Did mandakini drink limca before ram teri ganga maili???? ;)
You're driving at ease and a hot babe zooms past.
You also speed up and start driving really fast.
You push down the accelerator and forget there's a pedal for brake.
Somehow, before the next redlight you just manage to overtake.
Your hand reaches for your hair and you start giving a 'cool' pose.
You look in the rearview mirror and she starts picking her nose

26 April 2010

Cant we ask Pollard to play from India in the T20 world cup??
Can't he marry say Karan Johar and become an Indian citizen

25 April 2010

Braking News: Pepsi ropes in unemployed Pug from Hutch and launches new tagline 'Pepsi: Youngistan ka BOW'

Typical Facebook Profiles

A Few of the typical Facebook Profiles that i have noticed in the past one year. If at anypoint you think that i had you in mind while writing any of these. You are right. Tag your friends and let them wonder what profile they fit into ;)

Mush Maniacs: Girls (sometimes guys too) who would put keep putting those 101 love quotes from the Internet mostly depressing. I am glad you are there. You are the best thing happened to me. There is someone special someone for you types. Typically they will tell the whole world who their boyfriend/girlfriend is through all those Heart signs,

Desperate Dickheads: Poor Guys who have never been able to lay their hand (both literally and figuratively) on a Gal and will keep copying Double Meaning Quotes from Internet to attract some attention (in any form good or bad) so that atleast somebody notices. There is another High Un-Yielding Variety of this type, which would generally have 'I Hate Love' updates. Love is for losers. I am better off being single. No Time for Love. But one look at the profile pic and you know you have seen one. Typical Fan Pages : Proud to be Single types.

I, Me, Myself: Typically this type will have more than 1000 photographs in 20 + albums whose titles are generally on the lines of Random Stuff, Just another Day Shopping, Me and My Friends, Cafe Coffee Day. There would be more than 100 profile pictures and 90 of them will be self clicked with a camera phone and occassionally with another friend in the frame. The location generally would be a coffee shop or can even reach Mall Washrooms (especially if girls). The Status updates would generally be 'Attitude' Quotes. I don give a f*ck about your existence. Typical Fan pages include I was not placed on earth to please you. Games Played : Society or Sorority Life

I am so glad i got a girlfriend(somehow): Another variant of the Mush Maniacs but with the profile pic. Will have 20 albums posing with girlfriend in Malls, Cars, Markets.(Thank God no Loos here). The profile pic will typically be a close up self clicked shot with camera phone held high showing the biggest achievement of his life being held from behind almost as if she is gonna run away ;)

Everyone else is a loser: Slightly different from the 'I-Me-Myself' type. Typically they will never 'like' any update but always try to find flaws in whatever is written. Next day you could have a diametrically opposite update but still he will find some counter argument there too. More often than not, they will never post something themselves but will just comment on every single update from others'. The 'Nay Sayers', 'System Sucks', 'India is going to the Dogs' are some cross breeds of the same type.

Super Stalkers: They have not had a single status update in the past 3 years. Would not playa any game. Will not do anything. Will not even have a profile picture. Generally are single and Dont go out at the weekend. Will just stay back. Log on early morning and will only browse through your updates (or pictures if you are a girl). They will know exactly what is going on in your life. They might not know which company you are working for but they will surely know how many girlfriends you have had in the past 3 years or anything you bought in the last one month.

Farmville Fools: NO.. Absolutely NO updates apart from 'I need a . Please send' types. Will just log in in the morning. Sit in the Chat window for the whole day. Keep 'Farming'. Will never comment on anybody's status. Will not bother about whats happening around. Only two albums in the profile. One called Profile pictures which has ONE picture since the past 2 years and Other 'Farmville photos' updated almost every month. The profile pic can also have a shot of the farm sometimes. Apologies for using Fools but i am sure its better than 'F*ckers and you know i hate that game ;) (PS: it includes the Mafia Wars too)

Sports Freaks: The Status Msgs are filled with the latest score updates from EPL to IPL. Formula 1 to International Kabaddi World Cup. The word 'God' appears almost every fortnight. Thank God Facebook is only an Online platform or we could have seen some physical Brawls too. Frequently Used Words : Hail, Kick Ass, Woo Hooo, F*ck you , God, Dada Rocks

The 'TGIF' kinds: Typically they will only update two times a week. One on friday evening saying 'Yiiipppppie the weekend is here' and then sunday Evening saying 'Damn.. Why does the weekend run away so quickly'. They will never do anything in the middle. Will just sit at home and watch TV. They will never go out or do anything worth doing over the weekend but still be as excited as a child in a toy shop on friday. Sometimes, there could be a Saturday update saying 'Bored to Death' also present.

Pet Lovers: Yes, there are people who have Cats and Dogs as their profile pictures and also name them as an extended part of their family. There are a couple of albums with nothing but their pets in different attires (Even sunglasses) and the comments are almost on the lines of mush maniacs like awwww he is so cutttteeee, My koooochie cooo, etc etc.

There are quite a few others too like The Every hour updater (Which I would fit into), The Pseudo everything-er, The bored to Death, The 'Oh I am an NRI', The 'See i went to Thailand' types but i am too lazy to describing every thing right now

PS: Wrote it in about 20 minutes so might miss out quite a few other types too. Feel Free to Add. Start Noticing your friends now and see where they fit. Do let me know where i fit as well. and ya, its ALL in GOOD HUMOR. Dont stop 'liking' me now.. ;)

16 April 2010

And i always thought Motion Gaming was played on a Toilet seat
Whoever said 'Behind Every successful man, there is a woman' got the cause and effect relationship wrong

13 April 2010

What are you saying!!! FYI is not Fuck You Idiot ????? like Seriously???

12 April 2010

Do DSP Black Rock Mutual Fund and DSP Black Whisky have a cause and effect relationship ????

Its as chilly as it gets and so foggy you can hardly see.

Your tanki is full and a thousand times in a day you pee.

You are dressed like an eskimo, but feels as if you are bare.

'Weather' is damn cold, but 'With her', do you seriously care??

11 April 2010

With a State university called Dick-in-son.. No wonder the country is called the You Ass !!!

10 April 2010

Shouldn't a Traveler's guide be called a Pathologist???

08 April 2010

Are MACROman undergarements meant only for photographers???

03 April 2010

No. I dont work at ABC corp. I am just employed there!

02 April 2010

No wonder smart people are called intelli-GENT