19 December 2010

If Dolly-Khali were a couple, the show would have been called "Bigg Boss D-K".. no? :P

12 December 2010

Braking News: Censor Board censors the use of 'Sheila' in Sheila ki Jawani. Farha ropes in Bobby Darling for the new version. Song to be called 'Dheela ki Jawani' :P

09 December 2010

Whoever said, 'Bin maange MOTI mile...' Must have had a very fat wife :P

04 December 2010

Lesson of the Day: Negativity Kills Creativity

30 November 2010

Me: Ohh.. Hey Dude.. Hows you? Long time.
Friend's Friend: Sorry yaar, pehchana nahi.
Friend: Arey he is Gaurav, He was at KJ Som, Mumbai. Remember, he came home one day?
Friend's Friend: Ohhh yeahhhh... You came with BATLA right??
Me: *Stumped* i AM batla
Q. What's a prostitute who doesn't charge for sex called?
A. Missionary of charity :P

28 November 2010

Braking news: inspired from sheila ki jawani, BSP launches its own campaign song. To be called Maya ki Masti :P

24 November 2010

Braking News: Mollywood protests against #sheilakijawani. Set to launch rival item number called shakeela ki jawani ;)

17 November 2010

With pamela entering bigg boss' house, now we have TWO very important reasons to watch the show. No? ;)

14 November 2010

Come to think of it, a Happy Parents' Night is responsible for a Happy Children's Day :P

09 November 2010

Dear Operations management graduate, "You are six sigma compliant" isn't exactly same as "darling, you are one in a millon"

08 November 2010

Chunnu Munnu The do Bhai.. J&K par hui ladaai..
Jhagda sunn kar Pappa Aaye.. Dono ko do chapat lagaye.
Na aadha lo tum Chunnu beta, Na aadha lo tum munnu beta.
Aisa Jhagda karte rehna, Mera Thenga Chooste rehna.

*In loving memory of the THE president of the united states' visit to India

04 November 2010

Nobody bothers about the old. Sab 60+ uncle logon ko Diwali ki hard-d**k shubh kaamnaayein :P #hawwjokeoftheday

03 November 2010

Given my salary, today should be called Dhan-Taras instead. :( #happydhanteras

27 October 2010

Rajni's laws apply to murphy

25 October 2010

‎#Brakingnews: dibakar banerjee plans a sequel to LSD. Names it love, sex aur KLPD

23 October 2010

Holding onto the most favorite thing, the sweetest one the king of the king.
You were the best I had, you were comparable to none.
A sudden push and the world shattered, rest in peace, oh my CK ONE :(

20 October 2010

Har kamyabi ke peeche kisi ka haath hota hai. Aur Nakamyabi ke peeche kisi ki ungli :P

18 October 2010

Niagara falls, viagra rises ;)

17 October 2010

Baawara Mann Dekhne chala ek sapnaaa... Inception Dekhi aur confuse ho gaya :P

15 October 2010

Braking news: maneka gandhi launches campaign against mosquito repellants.. Goes all out against allout

10 October 2010

Braking News: Playboy gets inspired from Amazon's Kindle. Launches its own porn ebook reader. Calls it Fondle
'Normal' friendship follows 'normal' curve
‎38-27-36.. Now that's a medal's tally even bipasha would be proud of.

*Commonwealth games

07 October 2010

Braking News: Pratibha Patil woke up all scared last night. Sources claim she saw a nightmare, Kalmadi calling her Shivraj Patil in the closing ceremony

29 September 2010

I'm not a fan of tongue in chick humour :P

28 September 2010

Babri Vs Ayodhya

Killings and Massacre all over, There is blood on our hand.
We keep fighting like children, just for pieces of Land.

Happiness seems to be lost, there are only screams everywhere.
This deafening sound of violence, which no more i can bear.

Doesn't matter where you belong, be it saffron or Green.
There are distances all over, To take the first step no one is Keen

I wish all this gets over pretty soon.
The dark night is over and we see the new moon.

The new day arrives when there is just love and no fight.
The darkness deep inside us is gone and let there be light

Why Commonwealth Games are not a National Priority

First things first, I think the games should not have been organized in the first place. There is absolutely no explanation (financial, political, social or otherwise) for India to host CWG or any sort of an international sporting event altogether. Neither am i talking about the delay nor the corruption. Neither the International Shame that has been bestowed upon us by the Dog Poo in the apartment Nor the Falling Cross Over Bridges. I am just asking a simple Question about Priorities. Why did we have to organize these games?

IF we are trying to promote a 'sporting' culture and 'Healthy Living' then can anybody tell me How many of Delhiites have actually visited Indira Gandhi, National, Jawahar Lal or any other stadium in the past 10 years!!! If you want people to take up sports, then build small sports complexes all over the city, where people can play with their families, Kids can take tennis/swimming lessons and we may have a healthier/sporty generation to follow.

If we wanted to 'show the world' that we had the caliber to pull off a 'Beijing'. Who are we trying to show off to? The commonwealth nations are british ex-colonies most of which (economics wise) do not have anything to boast of anyways. Only Canada and UK have a GDP higher than us anyways. What would it serve to host events for countries to show off our prowess to, who anyways are struggling their economic existence. If you have money to spend, then send that money to the African nations where people are fighting AIDS and actually need that money to save those lives.

If we wanted to build better infrastructure for the urban city dwellers, then Did we have to organize this 'Show Off' for 15 days and spend billions of hard earned money of the tax payer (especially when majority of tax receipts comes not from the builders/contractors/businessmen who don't file their tax returns but from a freaking salaried guy who gets his salary in his bank account and the Tax is already deducted at source, lest he indulges in any tax evasion)? Why not make things better for THAT guy? As a representative of THAT guy and being an 'urban delhiite', I care more about 15 mins reduction in my travel time to work and back without any traffic jams rather than a freaking stadium eating up energy in those floodlights which will be used for 15 days. When the whole locality is sitting in dark, because THEIR electricity has been provided to that stadium nearby, which they will never be able to even enter if they wanted to.

Let's get real guys. The fact is: we are laggards in almost every sport in the world. The only game we play or are 'reallly' bothered about is cricket. A Game that is played by 10 nations in the world, 5 of them in South Asia where more than 60%(i guess) population lives in rural areas. How many of us would actually know who won the maximum number of golds in last CWG or who is the world champion in Discuss Throw, Shotput, long jump, high jump, badminton, archery etc etc etc.

There is no shame, but just that we are not bothered about these sports (as of yet). So what do we do? Do we just ignore the people who play these games in India ? Absolutely Not. But Have we organized CWG for THEM or in belief, that people will start participating in these games, once they have seen these sports themselves in stadiums? I don't think so. Give the hockey team players the money that is promised to them, so that the millions of children who were thinking of joining the game, do not turn away thinking 'Khana kahaa se kahunga?' If you actually care about these sports/sports persons then give the bloody money to the sports authorities/bodies for training/coaches/nutrition and build up a redressal mechanism so that you can 'know' if the money is reaching them

Also, for all those who are thinking that the delay has been caused due to babu giri or red tapism. Think again. If we sleep for 4 years after the games are allotted to us and start working at the 11th hour, as i see it, i think its all intentional. The delay was not caused we are lazy people, but because we wanted it to get delayed. Panic infuses a sense of 'Lets just get it done at ANY cost'. When you stop bothering about the price, you just want to get it done. May be that can explain the high prices at which materials/equipment was sourced. But hey, i don't even want to talk about the corruption in this post. Even if you forget the corruption/international shame due to delays etc for one bit, where does it make sense to build these stadiums in the first place.

For the 'urban' types who are singing song of 'Infrastructural Developments' DUE to CWG. I ask this. What if the CWG was not to be organized in Delhi. Would the government waited till the olympics to provide us with the Delhi Metro or the flyovers or better roads or better lighting etc etc. Are these happening only because CWG are being organized in Delhi? If No, then why organize it. IfYes, then its an even shameful situation that we need to have an international gaming event and the 'sharam' that tourists will come and see our city as being dirty, so let's clean up and build some roads.

We got a Country where 60% population doesn't have food, electricity, water, irrigation, roads, transport, infrastructure in the rural areas and we decide to spend all of 30,000 Crores on building stadiums and purchasing toilet paper for Rs 4000 per roll !! What boost is this money gonna give to the rural development in the country. How are these games going to change anything for the farmers/laborers committing suicides everyday. How are these going to do anything for anybody i dont understand.

For those, who are sharing pretty pictures of the 'world class stadiums' built for the CWG because we should concentrate on 'the positive' and rubbish the 'negativity' spread by the Indian Media, I have a question. Why the hell media shouldn't? Isn't this what the media is for? Its not a makeup artist who would hide your acne through thick layers of make up. Its their job to show what's hidden? Who would have known of this corruption, if the media hadn't shown? Would the PM intervened if it was reported that its all 'hunky dorry' and India is 'shining'.

For those who have this 'Chalo yaar, ho gaya jo hona sa. Ab kam se kam Duniya ko toh apna gandh na dikhao' attitude and are 'proud' of the fact that we are hosting the games. I think this is why we suffer. If a Kid steals and the mom-dad hide him, he will do it again. I hope the 'kids' running our government bodies learn their lesson through this negative publicity and think thousand times before organizing olympics in the next 100 years

PS: I have like a thousand more things/arguments to write and mind you, i have not even mentioned anything on the corruption/international shame/delays etc as yet, but i know, most people hardly read the post, if its longer than a few hundred words. So will stop it now

26 September 2010

Why people start drinking after break ups. Its better to have a heavy head than a heavy heart

24 September 2010

Brakingnews: vivek oberoi signs sequel against sneha ullal. To be called "kyun katt gaya na." :P
Why people start drinking after break ups. Its better to have a heavy head than a heavy heart :)

20 September 2010

Braking news: Apple launches new vacuum cleaner. Names it iSuck :P

19 September 2010

With the way my career is moving.. No wonder the only drivers i have, are on my laptop :(
Whoever coined the term 'Hands on experience' was a big pervert... What the hell you are supposed to keep your hands on to get 'that' experience :P

18 September 2010

Fuck big bang theory.. I would prefer a big bang PRACTICAL anyday :P

17 September 2010

Friend: I just love shankar's dolls museum in delhi.
Me: Fuck shankar.. I would prefer a Hefner's dolls' museum anyday :P